I am doing MUCH better than I was even a few weeks ago, and what a relief that is!  I think posting my goals the other week helped, so I’ve decided to revise them a bit and set some new ones.

Lose weight/get healthier.  Last month I took off 15 pounds, and while I’m hoping to not continue to lose weight at such a rapid pace, I’m looking forward to the challenge of continuing to eat healthier and to keep going with things like DDR.

Downsize.  Downsizing is going SO well.  It’s a painful process yet a healing process at the same time.  I’ve purged a ton of books, CDs, and other items that were just weighing me down.  I’m continually revising what is important to me so that, by the time I’ve moved, I can limit my possessions to the items I really want and need.  I’m focusing on doing a little bit each evening and this has made things much more bearable!

Don’t be afraid to toss.  I had a conversation with my mom the other day where I told her the value in so much of my possessions was gone long ago, and I’m just carrying them with me now.  Perhaps I should consider just tossing some items rather than hoping for any value from them (this particularly applies to my card collection).

Date?  I’m debating putting an ad up on C/L, just to see what happens.  I’m not quite there yet, but I’m strongly considering it, especially with an emphasis that there are no expectations, just hanging out and making new friends.  I actually have met some cool people off of C/L in the past, and making new friends would be awesome!

Make new/renew friendships.  This ties in with the above, I think.  I do need to find other ways to get to know people too, but I don’t know how much of that I’ll be able to do before moving back to Madison.  In the meantime, rekindling some old friendships, even if they’re not face-to-face, has also been a tremendous help.

Find myself again.  I find I constantly live in the shadows of other people and have carved out relatively little of my own identity.  Time to figure out what I really love and want!

After much thinking and introspection over the past few weeks, I’ve come up with goals for myself for the next year or so.  Here they are, in no particular order:

Lose weight.  I’m already making great strides in this category - 12 pounds gone since earlier this month!  But I’m going to keep watching what I’m eating and doing things like DDR.  I’m also considering reviving my old habit of walking on my lunch breaks.

Downsize.  Over the next ~9 months that I’ll be staying at the house with R, I’m going to consolidate the majority of my possessions down to the room I’m in.  I’m hoping to start moving in to my own 0-1 bedroom apartment by 7/1.

Consider the possibilities.  I’m pretty certain I don’t want to move back to MA, but what’s to stop me from deciding to move elsewhere down the road, especially if I’m downsizing?  This is more of a “down the road” kind of goal, but once I’m more financially stable again, I may want to start visiting other places again.

Be patient.  Just because R & I are OK with our split does not mean it won’t take time for friends and family to adjust.  I need to be more conscious of their feelings and their sadness over this too.

Wait to date.  The thought of rejection is a particularly paralyzing thought for me right now, and I’m not sure I could handle more right now…  and I know it would be inevitable if I were to start dating again.  Plus, my situation is just too complex right now to ask anyone else to be understanding of it.  If someone comes my way that’s cool with things, great, but right now, I’m not going to actively seek anyone.

Be happy.  I realize that, especially right now, this might mean faking it until I make it.  But I know how important it is to those around me, and I do miss feeling happy.  I know I don’t like being around people who are down, so finding happiness is going to be key in making new friends, etc.

Make new friends.  If I lived in MA, it would be easy for me to rekindle some old friendships.  Here in WI, I only have a few close friends, and very few friendships I could rekindle.  Time to make some additional friends (although I suspect this goal will need to come after the “be happy” goal!)

I’m sure some of these goals will change in time, but for now, I think it’s good for me to have some focus in life.